Running while female

Content warning: Sexual harassment, graphic content

I love to run.  I love the freedom, the time alone with my thoughts, the challenge to my body and mind.  I love that running makes me more in touch with my body’s needs – I notice it more when I need food or water or sleep, and I’m more willing to give my body what it needs so I can run again the next day.

It can be hard to run in Vietnam.  It’s hot, I’m slower, the air quality is poor, and I have to be really careful about sun protection.  However, in the two years I’ve lived here, I have run hundreds of miles completely alone and I haven’t ever felt unsafe.

Until yesterday.

My school is far out in the suburbs.  When I run after school, it’s often through farmland and mangrove jungle.  It’s beautiful and peaceful and the air is cleaner than around my house.  I love to run near my school.

Yesterday I was running a loop near campus that I’ve run two-three afternoons each week since August.  All was normal.  Families waved and said hello as I ran past.  Small children ran after me to try to keep up for a little while.  Dogs barked half-heartedly but then laid back down on the pavement, unwilling to stray too far from their bowl of water in the heat.  I crossed paths with a friend of mine who was running the same loop, but in the opposite direction.

I was about halfway through the loop.  I had a half mile to go before I reached the main road, and another mile or so after that to get back to school.  And suddenly, I heard a motorbike following behind me.

At first, I thought the wiry, weathered, older man on the bike just didn’t want to pass me on the narrow path.  I scooted to my right to give him room.  He didn’t pass me.  I glanced over my shoulder.  He was leering at me.  It became clear that he was following right behind me intentionally.  I stopped and gestured for him to pass me.  He drove up next to me, still leering, totally invading my space, gesturing at me and at himself and saying something I (thankfully) couldn’t understand in my limited, survival-only Vietnamese.  Incomprehensibly, I flicked him off.  I don’t even know why; I am not sure that it’s a gesture that meant anything to him.  But I was frustrated and nervous and confused and frozen and I just didn’t have any words.  Then he passed me and I sighed with relief.  I thought the interaction was over.  I thought I’d be able to finish my run in peace.

He kept looking over his shoulder at me.  I could tell that he was touching himself.  He stopped thirty yards ahead of me and turned around.  He drove back towards me.  This time, he’d pulled out his penis and was masturbating at me.  He slowed down as he approached me, leering again and saying something I couldn’t understand.  I started to panic.  I considered pushing him off his bike.  I considered kicking him.  I considered calling for help, but knew I was on the most isolated stretch of my run, in a place where no one would hear me.  I thought, “Could I take him, if it came to that?”  The moment seemed to last several long minutes, but it really couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds.  He drove off again.  I felt like crying.  Instead, I ran harder.

I was maybe 250 yards from the main road when I heard a motorbike approaching from behind again.  I started to run faster.  The motorbike was catching up, I was picking up speed, it was gaining on me, I was flat-out sprinting… and then he pulled up next to me again, still with his genitalia on full display, still touching himself, still leering at me.  I lost it.  I started screaming obscenities at him as loud as I could.  I called him every name I could think of.  There were a few people around at this point, but no one intervened.  We were almost at the intersection with the main road.  I kept screaming at him.  He veered off to the left and sped away.  I turned right, back towards school.

At this point, I had to stop and walk.  I was totally spent.  The sprint to the main road had messed up my pacing.  My body was trying to cry, but I was out of breath and all I could do was gulp in air and make this weird, strangled, sobbing sound.  While I walked, my mind was racing.

I can’t run here anymore.  I think I’ve seen him before.  He knows my schedule.  He’s following me.  What if I run here again and he follows me again and it escalates?  What if something happens to me out here and no one knows?  What if I fight him off and then next time he brings friends?  I hate him.  I hate him for ruining something I love.  I hate him for making me feel unsafe.  I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM.

I was angry at literally everyone.

I was so angry at this man.

But I was also angry with the people standing around who didn’t interfere.

I was angry at my school for not getting the treadmills in the weight room they’ve been promising for a year. 

I was angry at the colleagues I used to run with for not running after school anymore.

(I’m not actually mad at my friends or at my school, but I was kind of having a meltdown yesterday afternoon.)

I was angry that, after establishing such a great routine, after putting in so many hours and miles trying to get back into good distance-running shape, I felt like my efforts were going to be derailed.

And I was SO angry that even here, in Vietnam, where I’ve so rarely felt unsafe because of my gender, there are still men who want to punish me for existing in a public space while female.

Travel update 2: In which Elizabeth ventures alone (sort of) into the central highlands of Sri Lanka

After a little time in Colombo, Zack had to head to Chennai in southern India for a few days. I was dead set on getting some good hiking in on this trip, so I hopped on a train bound for the central highlands, planning to spend a few days wandering around Nuwara Eliya and Ella.

Getting to Nuwara Eliya

I rarely travel alone, and while I do like being by myself, I always worry that traveling alone will make me feel really lonely. Imagine my delight, then, when I ended up on the train to Nuwara Eliya sitting next to Stephanie, a lovely lady from Hong Kong. We were in the observation carriage at the back of the train, a great spot for stunning mountain views on the seven-hour train ride. We got to talking and found that we were both headed to the same area for the sole purpose of hiking our faces off and drowning ourselves in Ceylon tea. I hadn’t booked a hotel yet, so Stephanie invited me to stay with her. As the train snaked its way slowly into the mountains, we began formulating plans for our time in Nuwara Eliya (and taking an absurd number of pictures from the train window). Here’s a little train view collage:

We got into Nuwara Eliya in the late afternoon. As the sun went down it started to get COLD! I haven’t been in cold weather in like two years, so I was wholly unprepared for how chilly it got overnight up in the Sri Lankan mountains, although I guess I should have known considering the elevation is 1868 m, or 6128 ft. When Stephanie and I went into town to grab dinner, I stopped off in a little shop to get a sweater as well. This proved to be a very important purchase the following morning.

Also, here's the view of Lake Gregory from our hotel (sorry, I procrastinated too long and now can't remember the name of it) and a picture of Stephanie pouring us a tasty cup of Ceylon tea:

Horton Plains National Park

I was only in Nuwara Eliya for one day, and I knew I wanted to hike to World’s End in Horton Plains National Park. It’s over an hour’s drive to Horton Plains, so Stephanie and I arranged for the man who drove us from the train station to our hotel to take us to the park as well. He picked us up super early in the morning (it was freezing, and I was very glad for the sweater I’d bought the night before). The hike wasn’t super challenging or anything, but it was incredibly beautiful. World’s End had a fantastic view, and the trek back out to the park entrance was through a really interesting alpine plain. We also stopped off at lovely Baker’s Falls on our way out.

Sunrise over the cloud forest

Panoramic view of World's End

A little deer friend

Also Baker's Falls

That afternoon, we went to two tea plantations and I spent an ungodly amount of money buying every kind of tea that looked interesting to me. We went to Mackwoods for a tour of their tea factory and then to Bluefield to buy tea. 

On to Ella

Stephanie stuck around in Nuwara Eliya for another day, but I had only a short time in the central highlands so I was keen to get to my next destination, a charming mountain town called Ella. I took the train from Nuwara Eliya to Ella, which took about four hours and featured even more stunning views than the trip from Colombo to Nuwara Eliya. 

I’m kind of a plan-as-you-go traveler, so I booked my hotel in Ella the night before I left (on trusty agoda.com). I got super lucky - Ella’s Edge has an incredible view of the surrounding mountains, the breakfast is gigantic and fabulous and it’s located in a quiet spot just a short walk from the city center.  Here's the afternoon and sunrise view:

There are a couple of good hikes around Ella that I wanted to check out. I decided to start with Ella Rock. Looking on tripadvisor, I found that the trek up to Ella Rock is not particularly well-marked, and that if you go alone guides will try to get you to hire them along the way. A guy at my hotel made me a fairly hilarious hand-drawn “map”, and I’m pretty comfortable getting lost so I figured I would be fine, but I didn’t count on the fact that a woman hiking alone is a super easy target for aggressively “helpful” guides. They do this thing where they talk you into going the wrong way, and then follow you for a while and tell you they’ll “help” you get back on track - for a small fee, of course. I am very embarrassed to say that this happened to me twice (in my defense, the second one was incredibly persuasive, convincing and difficult to shake), and by the time I got to Ella Rock I was feeling disempowered, frustrated and cranky. I shook off the second guide and wandered through a lovely forest over to a cliffside shrine next to this pretty overlook far away from the other tourists. And that’s when the real adventure started. But first, here are some pictures.

Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls, y’all

I was just about to walk back over to the main trail to get back to Ella when I ran into these two super lovely Czech guys, Petr and Karel. They were planning to try to hike down to the bottom of Ravana Falls to go for a swim. I was feeling a little cheated of my own hiking adventure for the day, and definitely not keen to get waylaid by yet another overly solicitous guide, so I asked if I could tag along. Petr told me we would likely be going pretty far off the trail and that there was a chance we wouldn’t even make it to the waterfall. Feeling reckless, I was like, “Awesome let’s go.”

Thus began an epic, hours-long trek down a steep mountainside, first through dense brush and eventually through dusty, ashy, burned-out fields. All three of us scrambled along, occasionally tripping and sliding. A rock hit the back of Karel’s ankle and he started bleeding profusely. Petr cut his hand. We were totally covered in thick, black ash. Ultimately, we realized that we just weren’t going to make it to that waterfall without breaking ourselves and we had to climb all the way back up again. Nevertheless, this was seriously the most fun and memorable day of my trip.

I’d planned to be out for about four hours. With our failed waterfall detour, we ended up being out for about seven hours. Needless to say, I didn’t feel so bad about skipping runs that week, and I had like 32,000 steps on my Fitbit that day.

Gross.

Other things in Ella

After our big day, Petr invited me to join him and Karel for dinner at a guesthouse he had stayed at previously. This lovely old Sri Lankan lady fixed us an epic feast and we ate our faces off. Then we headed down to a little bar around the corner and drank FAR too much Arrack, a local liquor, and Tiger Black (which, incidentally, I would recommend that no one else ever drink EVER… you’ve been warned). The bar itself was hilarious, particularly the majestic lion mural on the wall.

The next morning I was supposed to meet up with Stephanie, who had since made it from Nuwara Eliya to Ella, to hike Little Adam’s Peak for sunrise, but I overslept :/ (possibly due to the aforementioned tragic Tiger Black and Arrack combo). Luckily, we were able to meet up later to walk down the train tracks a few kilometers to Nine Arches and a cute little tea shop.

That afternoon, I hired a car and driver to take me down to Galle to meet up with Zack. There is a bus, but I would have had to leave quite early that morning and I didn’t want to miss my last day in Ella. The private car cost about LRK 10,000 (~USD 65) and only took about five hours - totally worth it to me for the flexibility and napping potential. And thus ended my Sri Lankan mountain adventures! I’ll be back soon with a post on lovely Galle and the reunification of Zack and Elizabeth!

Travel update 1: Colombo; also, I hate Air Asia; also, an apology

My dear friends and readers, I am terribly sorry to have gotten so behind (again) on my posts! I have at least three planned for Sri Lanka, plus several weeks worth of weekly updates, plus a few other ideas I’ve been playing around with, like distance running in Vietnam, or thoughts on the election as viewed from abroad, or community theatre in Saigon. Alas, ever since I got back to Vietnam from my October break, I have hardly had a single quiet moment to write. So now I have loads to tell you, but I also don’t want to overload you with like 10 posts all at once. #bloggerstruggles #thestruggleisreal

Anyway, let’s at least get started today with beautiful Sri Lanka. Zack and I were SO ready for this vacation. We were seriously emotionally run down and trying to hide our bad attitudes from our students by the end of the quarter. Here is a picture of us (Zack looks beautiful and I look tired, as usual) drinking terrible Vietnamese beers in the airport.

Often when I travel, I try to project myself into the city or country I’m visiting, wondering if it’s the kind of place I could live. Almost as soon as we stepped our of our charming B&B into the relaxed quiet of Colombo on a Sunday, Zack and I both said we felt like it was the kind of place we could live. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the walkable city center, or the delicious curry, or the fact that we could interact so naturally with Sri Lankan people because of their English proficiency, but something about Colombo felt like it would be such a lovely place to live for a while. And now, a Colombo collage:

Before I get into what we got up to in Colombo, I have to say something about the amazing B&B we stayed in, Colpetty House. We loved it there so much we booked another night for our last night in town. Colpetty House was fabulous for many reasons. It’s spacious, quiet and clean and the breakfast is divine, but the real draws for us were the owner, a completely delightful woman named Anushika, and Emma, an Australian woman who was working there when we visited. They both went out of their way to make us feel welcome and at home, and Anushika sat with us for over an hour during breakfast helping us plan our first day in Colombo. At the end of our trip when our return flight was canceled (more on that later), Anushika let us come back and use our room for the rest of the day until they had to clean in preparation for the next guest. Seriously, if you’re headed to Colombo, I cannot recommend Colpetty House highly enough.

Our first day in Colombo, we wandered through a very charming park full of canoodling teenagers, then headed to a super tasty restaurant called Upali’s where we ate hathmaaluwa (mixed vegetable curry, advertised as a 2000-year-old recipe), ala sudata uyala (potato curry in coconut milk), and paan (hearty Sri Lankan bread). Photos to come (after I steal them from Zack).

We wanted to catch the sunset from The Kingsbury, but we had quite a lot of time to kill so, in typical Zack and Elizabeth fashion, we wandered from restaurant to cafe to restaurant, eating and drinking our way through Colombo. Our first stop was Whight & Co, where we obviously had to try some beautiful Ceylon Sapphire tea (by “some” I really mean “three pots of”). Whight & Co. has a great view of the ocean and very classic, clean, nautical-themed decor. Here’s Zack gazing pensively out of the window:

After Whight & Co., we wandered over towards the train station to snag something tasty for dinner. We kind of stumbled upon a roti shop called Pillawoods Hotel, where Zack absolutely lost his mind with excitement:

Finally, as the sun was beginning to set, we wandered over to The Kingsbury, a super fancy-looking hotel with a nice rooftop bar. We sat up there and sipped gin (naturally) and watch the sun set over the ocean. It was a magical first day.

We also inadvertently spent another day in Colombo at the end of our trip because our AirAsia flight was canceled. AirAsia can look super attractive because it’s a discount airline with really cheap tickets, but as with many discount airlines, their service is absolutely terrible (definitely worse than some others I’ve been on like Southwest or EasyJet or RyanAir). They canceled our flight after we’d already arrived at the airport, put us on another flight very late that night (so we missed work the following day), wouldn’t even give us taxi fare back to the city center, and were completely and utterly remorseless when we went to the office to complain. They were basically like, we are under no obligation to run all of the flights we schedule, we are under no obligation to help you in any way when we cancel a flight, and also we don’t care that you are missing work tomorrow. Oh and by the way the reason we didn’t contact you to let you know the flight was canceled was because you booked through a travel website rather than the AirAsia site. Sorry not sorry.

So basically, if you aren’t on a specific timeline I guess taking a gamble with AirAsia would be worth it because it’s so cheap, but if a canceled flight would really mess up your schedule and make you miss work or something, you might want to go with a legit airline.

After our shouting match with AirAsia at the airport, Zack and I dejectedly headed back to Colombo and Colpetty House, where we were so happy to be able to lay down for a little rest. Finally we did get back out for a little wander - we headed over to a store/cafe called Barefoot. They had some really lovely textiles and handicrafts and other souvenir-type things. The other thing they had was live Jazz in their outdoor restaurant (apparently this is an every Sunday thing).

This trip kind of had three parts for me - the city, the mountains and the beach - so it seems logical to split it into three blog posts. So I’ll leave Sri Lanka here for now, and hopefully get back to you in less than 9 weeks with the next installment :)